Sorry
I can’t afford to be a paid subscriber
There are so many Substack creators who have “inspired” me. I put quotes around “inspired” because I really mean “led me down an enjoyable rabbit hole and gave me a subject to write about”. Sometimes I can’t help myself and write a comment. I like to be nice to people. I fall in love easily (my definition of “love” includes everything except sexual and romantic feelings — I reserve that for my beautiful wife of 42 years) — I learned to not grab anything from the racks at the checkout aisle, but that’s the compulsion I feel when I read some excellent posts or simply find a kindred spirit. It’s the paid subscription that gives me angst.
I’d like to give money to everyone who brings me joy, and that’s a lot of people. When renewing time comes around, I’m faced with a cost that my income can’t support. “I’m on a fixed income” doesn’t tell the half of it — it’s really a declining income, and there’s a realistic expectation that it can be cut off entirely. Project 2025 and its mad executor are seeing to that.
So, I take out a lot of free subscriptions. Sometimes the content is too good for my reading habits, and I know it’s a ‘stack I’ll read daily, so I’ll bite the bullet and pay, reducing my annual income by $100 or so. It’s a decision I don’t take lightly. Sometimes I won’t renew, sadly. But it’s never personal (unless a creator cozies up to the dark side — I’m thinking of you, Michael Cohen) and it fills me with guilt.
I often buy a cup of coffee. Now I’m discovering the joy of giving recommendations. Even restacking, which I really don’t like — when I read a creator’s activity, I have to wade through their many restacks before I find original content. This is one of the factors in deciding whether or not to follow or take out a free subscription.
It’s all a question of money. You already know I have ADHD, so I inherently reach for shiny objects before I become aware of the cost, or even change my mind and lose interest.
Again, I’m sorry. I feel guilty. This is my atonement.